Honestly, who steals a shoe?

My apartment building is set up in such a way that there are only two apartments on each floor, and the elevators open directly into a "private" hallway for each apartment (one in front, one in back). This hallway is more or less unsecured, and can be accessed from both the elevator and the stairwell. When we moved in, our landlord assured us that eventually the elevator could only access our floor by swiping a card, and of course that the stairwell door would have locks installed (the building was new when we moved in).

Fast forward 7 months. The fire department demanded that our landlord remove the locks on the stairwell doors (they also serve as the only fire escape), and of course we have not received the card-swipe elevator (although, without a lock on the stairwell door, what's the point?). Anyway, we still keep stuff in the hallway, like a shoe rack (I don't like shoes in my apartment, especially after tramping around the subway), a coat rack, and a storage closet (containing junk like wrapping paper and sports equipment and artificial Christmas trees). Our apartment is short on closet space, so everyone in the building uses their hallway as storage space.

This morning, as I always do, I paused in the hallway to put on my shoes. Normally I wear boots to keep my legs warm and my feet dry, but the weather has been nice lately, and I thought I might opt for my Skechers sneakers. As I pulled on my sneakers, I paused. Something seemed amiss. I stared hard at the shoe rack. Where...where are my boots?

Someone stole two pairs of my boots. Right out of my fucking hallway. MY hallway. Not a communal hallway. I had two pairs of black, size 7.5 Nine West boots that I recently spent FOREVER finding and purchasing (on sale, mind you! I'm not made of money). They were my only warm, suitable-for-wet-weather shoes. Hell, they're my only nice shoes. I'm notorious for picking out less-than-dressy footwear. Who steals shoes???

I only keep the boots in the hallway; they're too big for my makeshift-Ikea closet. They don't ever come inside. My other shoes were intact; Boyfriend's nice leather shoes (which were far more expensive than mine) remained. The coat rack was untouched, as was the storage closet (as far as I can tell. Honestly, if they took something out of there, I might not miss it). They just. took. my fucking. boots.

My landlord thinks it's a particular neighbor, who hasn't paid rent in nine months. I'm not sure if I'm ready to point fingers (I really like the guy), but I would like to ask him and other neighbors if they noticed anything. We have a security camera in the front hallway to the building, so she promised to check the tape and see if somebody either left carrying my boots or if someone entered the building who does not belong. I've also been frantically checking Ebay all day to see if my boots get posted. So far, no dice.

In the grand scheme of things, this is small potatoes. Total, the boots probably cost me $150, which is a lot of money to me; But it's still not much considering how much worse other people get ripped off (Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme, anyone?). But mostly I'm feeling angry and insecure. Why pick on me? Why leave me with chilly and wet feet? Is it someone in my building? Should I distrust my neighbors? If it was someone who doesn't live in my building, will they come back? Will it be worse the next time? Did they try to enter my apartment? Is there something more important missing that I haven't realized yet?

In the meanwhile, I'm putting out an APB for my missing, size 7.5 Nine West babies:

That was weird

You know all of those fake-ass warning stories they tell to women, like "once a woman heard a baby cry on her porch but she thought it was weird so she called the cops and the cops were all DON'T A RAPIST HAS BEEN IMPERSONATING A CRYING BABY TO LURE FOOLISH BABY-LOVING WOMEN LIKE YOU RIGHT INTO HIS CLUTCHES and the woman is all PHEW I could have been raped"???

Yeah. I hate those urban-legends-passed-as-true stories. Oh, but one of them sort of happened to me tonight.

At around 10 tonight, Boyfriend and I are on the couch. The buzzer rings. Now, we live on a second floor apartment facing the street, and we can look out the window and see people at the door. But sometimes I think it's better to not look out the window and reveal yourself to whoever is at the door. 'Cause if it's some cute kids selling candy for school you look like a big scrooge when you drop the curtain and walk away. Anyway, for this reason, I asked who it was over the intercom before I looked out the window.

"Package for apartment two."

Um, okay. It's 10 pm, and we are not expecting a package. There's one other apartment on my floor, so I ask which apartment it's for.

"It just says two."

Okay. This is shady. Now I ask who's name is on it.

"It doesn't say."

Now I'm definitely not buzzing them in. Boyfriend glances out the window, and goes across the hall to see if our neighbor is perhaps expecting something. I push the "talk" button once more, and tell the person to hold on for a minute.

Silence on the other end.

I cross the room and look out the window. No one is at our gate.

The neighbor doesn't answer and Boyfriend comes back. I ask him if he saw someone standing at the gate when he looked. He had. Did they have a package? No. Were they in a uniform? No. What was he wearing? It was someone in a dark blue hoodie, with the hood up.

Nice. My night almost turned into a cautionary tale, doomed to eternal circulation in emails from well-meaning aunts.

So, at this point the guy was gone, but I felt unsettled knowing that some guy is in our neighborhood ringing buzzers and trying to get into apartments. His motive could be anything, really. It's cold out tonight, so maybe he's just trying to find a warm place to sleep. Or maybe he's trying to rob the shit out of someone. Honestly, I'm not much of a gambling woman, so I'd rather not try my luck. We called the cops, and made a report. The cops can't do anything, but it will ease my conscience if I read in the paper tomorrow that a guy in a dark blue hoodie killed a family of five by ringing their buzzers and pretending to have a package. At least I let someone know.

The best part of all this was that the cops who stopped by were waaaaay more interested in our house bunny than in making a report. They didn't even write anything down. Which I get, because legally speaking, nothing happened. But when I apologized for bothering them they were very sincere in assuring us that we had done the right thing.

All the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house stories aside, I will be out of town for a few days, so no bloggity bloggin'. But don't try to rob me if you've been stalking me, because my fierce attack bunny will be holding down the fort. Hell, he nibbled on one of the cop's shoes. He's that hard.