My official heathen atheist stance on Christmas

Boyfriend and I decorated our apartment for Christmas yesterday. We have a little table-top fake tree, with some lights and ornaments, as well as some multi-colored lights in the window. Since we both identify as atheists, I thought it would be topical to address My Big Official Stance on Christmas (alternate working title: Why We Keep Celebrating a Holiday that We Don't Believe In).

It is a good discussion topic (unless we are with Boyfriend's Southern Baptist family. In which case, it is the WORST DISCUSSION POSSIBLE). I mean, Christians don't often go lighting menorahs, and I don't know too many Jews who fast for Ramadan. A lot of Christians seem to take offense at non-Christians butting in on their holiday, and I can see why they would be peeved.

Lots of atheists justify celebrating the holidays by claiming "winter solstice" and all that. And it is true that this time of the year was originally celebrated for the winter solstice, back when those crazy Pagans were running the show. Then, the Christians decided that they REALLY wanted that celebration for themselves, so they pretty much just took it and (literally) told the Pagans to go to hell. So in a way, a lot of atheists use the holidays to point out that no, Jesus ISN'T the reason for the season, and yes, we still have a right to exchange gifts and put up a tree.

I feel like that is a fine explanation, but let's be honest here: I am not a pagan, and I do not wish to celebrate the winter solstice. So while I can understand telling people about the solstice (because it does make a valid point regarding the origins of the holiday and the existence of other reasons to celebrate), I don't feel like it really "fits" me.

What does "fit" is the simple fact that I like being with my family and friends, exchanging tokens of appreciation, the smell of pine, and pretty lights. I (and everyone else on earth) like things that conjure up happy childhood memories. I like to make my family happy, as opposed to hurting them by refusing to participate in their religious holiday. In short, we celebrate Christmas as a "cultural" holiday; i.e., one that is inescapable given the value assigned to it by our society and families. A lot of Jewish kids who grew up in Christian neighborhoods know what I'm talking about: Sure, your family doesn't "technically" celebrate Christmas, but on the 25th, your mom gets you some gifts anyway. It's all about inclusiveness. We grew up this way, our families are this way, and the damned town/city/state/country is this way. We will be this way, too, but only in some ways.

I don't go to church anymore, even if my mom asks me (and she hasn't asked in a long time, thankfully). That's where I draw the limit in terms of cultural participation. I will go into churches for weddings, funerals, etc., but I think that going as far as attending a Christmas service would place me in a very hypocritical position. Basically, the "fun" stuff (if you always consider the holidays "fun," which I don't) is something in which I feel safe as a participant. I can justify it as a "cultural" thing, a "winter solstice" thing, a "traditional" thing. That part of Christmas is so far removed from Christianity at this point anyway, thanks to sweet, sweet capitalism. But once I have to sit through a sermon it's no longer something that I feel I can justify in the same way. Not to mention that I just don't want to fucking hear it anymore.

So that's why we have a tree, lights, ornaments, and will exchange gifts with our families on the 25th. Are we greedy and selfish for celebrating a holiday in which we do not believe? Maybe. Do I care? Not really. If anyone feels like challenging me on that, I'd just like you to know that you are totally welcome to celebrate Spaghettimas, even if you don't believe/understand/know anything about the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Pastafarians. See, shouldn't everyone be so generous with their holidays?

By the way, our tree topper is a pink-frosted donut ornament. With sprinkles.

Atheist Adverts

There was some article somewhere, that I am too lazy to look up right now and link to because I have a headache. But the gist of it was that some group of atheists (freedom from religious thought? something like that? GAH I HATE EFFORT) are all getting together to fund billboards and bus adverts to get their message out there. Things like "Reason's Greetings" (around xmas) and "reject religious Dogma" and "Don't believe in god? You're not alone."

Anywho, I'm just gonna come out and say that I'm not totally cool with this concept of "organized" atheism. My thinking is that I really fucking hate those stupid Christian billboards (there's one on the drive down to my parents' house that says "Keep using my name in vain, and I'll make rush hour longer. -God." WTF? That doesn't even say anything. What retarded monkey was allowed to pick that message?). So I can't see how the atheist billboards are any better than that. Honestly, I don't want any advert telling me what to believe in, or attempting to guilt me or whatever. So even though I may agree with the messages on the atheist billboards, I can't say that I believe in any great gain from their existence. If anything, it makes us look as obnoxious and insecure as the fundies. Isn't the idea that we don't need to get on a soapbox or have rallies or be fuck-ass CrAzY to be secure in our beliefs?

I imagine it looks like we're being pushy in those ads. And to the average fundie, I imagine that it looks like we're WAGING A FUCKING WAR on Christmas/god/America/little Debbie snack cakes. I don't think we need to feed into their bizarre martyr complex/delusions of grandeur anymore.

But there is a flip side. Because even if I disapprove of this "in-your-face" movement from organized atheism, it is doing things for us that are helpful, and which wouldn't be possible without group cohesiveness. For instance, this atheist group managed to hire its first lobbyist to speak for us in DC. That's a pretty big deal, because we're a pretty disenfranchised group in this country (can I refer you to the 14 states that don't officially let atheists hold office? Or the theistic chant that public school teach our children?) And I do sort of like the idea of letting people know that we do exist and we do matter. Seriously. Because some people actually believe that our numbers are so small that we don't matter. Or that we don't exist at all. So that makes it sort of hard to live, and I'm glad that a group is trying to ameliorate that for us.

My feelings on organized atheism also make me feel apathetic about blogging my non-belief. I'm not really interested in arguing it, or hashing it out, etc. There are plenty of good atheist blogs that do that already, and they're interesting to read...to a point. But at some point, I'm not interested in watching a reasonable, logical atheist hash it out against some infuriated barely-literate fundie. It's a one-sided argument, it's not going to get resolved, and it's only re-stating what I already know. Preachin' to the choir, yo. So that's why I probably won't post on atheism as much as, say, queef jokes that Boyfriend makes. That's right, I said QUEEF. Don't act like I didn't make you CRINGE.

Anywhoodle, I know I was just absent from blogging for a bit, but I'm actually not done being absent. We're spending Thanksgiving with Boyfriend's family out-of-state, so I probably won't be blogging in a house where my online musings might be discovered (I guess I could blog and if someone asks what I'm doing, I could say that I'm looking at hardcore sadomasochist goat-cheese porn, but I don't know if I wanna risk it). So Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I'll be back next week!

I shake my fist at you, Mormons

Everyone knows by now what an asshole the Mormon Church is when it comes to The Gay. But now, it seems that they've also been disrespecting another group.....(wait for it)....Jews!!! And not just any Jew, oh no. Turns out that the Mormons have decided to specifically hate on DEAD HOLOCAUST JEWS.

Yeah. Apparently they believe that Mormons can only be reunited in the afterlife with other Mormons. They also believe that it's not too late for your dead relatives to become Mormons, too, so that you can see them again. So they have a church member "stand in" for your dead relative during a baptism. They believe that by doing this, the stiff can then choose Mormonism and go to heaven for punch and cookies for all eternity.

The Mormons are also crazy for genealogy records. So they have a big-ass database with a bunch of names. In this database are the names of a bunch of dead Jewish Holocaust victims. So, it turns out, they've been taking the names of the dead Jews and baptizing them in the name of the Mormon Church.

So let's get this straight. You're a Jew. You are taken to a death camp, tortured, and killed because you are a Jew. Then, 70 years after you die, some self-righteous Christians ignore your religion, ignore the suffering that you endured for your religion, and claim your soul as a member of their religious group??

This is a huge insult to Holocaust victims, survivors, and their relatives. Basically, the Mormon Church is saying "We're right and Jews are wrong. So we're going to just go ahead and make them Mormons." It trivializes the entire Jewish religion. It's disgusting.

As it turns out, in 1995 the Mormon Church had agreed to stop this practice, and removed a number of names from the database. But someone who was keeping tabs on them discovered that Jewish names have been continually resubmitted and added to the database since that time.
The Church's defense for this blatant violation is a kicker. A spokesman said that the names were added by a small-group of "well-meaning" Mormons. Oh, fuck you. Fuck your intentions. That doesn't make any of this okay. Your intentions may have been good but the effect is horribly offensive. And the effect is the only thing that matters here.

The even sadder part of the story is that the Jewish people who have been decrying the Mormons' actions are basically giving up. The initial agreement has been violated for 13 years, so simply removing names from the database obviously isn't enough. So the Jews are tired and aren't negotiating with the Mormons anymore. It's basically like this:

Mormons: *Punches Jew in the face*
Jews: Ow! Quit it!
Mormons: Oh, sorry, I thought that it would be good for you. *punches Jew again*
Jews: That hurts! Please stop!
Mormons: Ok, I'll stop. *Punches Jew in balls*
Jews: Fine. I'm walking away.
Mormons: *Follows Jew, repeatedly punches Jew in back of head*

It kills me that Mormons are so nice to your face, and then they turn around and do shit-head things like this. No regard whatsoever for any group but themselves. They will cry all night about respect for their rights and their religion, but they don't give a flying fuck about gay rights or respect for other religions. I don't know how anyone who believes in being a loving person could EVER support an organization like LDS.

My only consolation is that I think this whole thing is ridiculous because A) I don't believe in souls, so the fact that the Mormons take this whole posthumous baptism thing seriously is fucking laughable and B) it's funny to see people waste so much energy and life because they think they're going to go somewhere after they die. Hey, Mormons: Just enjoy your fucking life and quit wasting your time making other people miserable. Because I bet you dollars to donuts that when you die, you ain't going nowhere but six feet under. And you won't hear your relatives' damn baptisms down there, either. So just abstain from your coffee and tea and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.

Blogging is dangerous work

Quick post: A blogger that I like very much was bullied into leaving the blogosphere, recently
(let's count how many times I can fit the word "blog" into this post. Blog). Going by the handle "Possummomma," this particular writer used her space on the internet to broadcast her thoughts on her family, religion, and atheism. She mainly documented the challenges she faced as an atheist and as a parent. Given my interest in developmental psychology, and the fact that I am also an atheist, her topics were relevant to me.
It's a long story, but here is a good link that explains what happened to her (there is also a short summary at the top, for all of you with goldfish-like attention spans).

It's so sad that this woman has to endure death threats, zealots posting her personal information, and threats to her family simply because she isn't afraid to talk about her atheism. She has been stalked and threatened on numerous occasions, all by people claiming to be Christians (Jesus is LOVE, DAMMIT). By the way, she's a mother of four and she has LUPUS. Way to bully a mother with a severe illness. Totally what Jesus would have done.

Sometimes I forget that we live in America. Because I thought that not only were we allowed to have free speech, but that we could also have any religion (or non religion) that we wanted. I didn't know that we all had to believe in a god. What a great fucking country this has turned out to be. We're all so very free.

My sincere condolences to the P-momma family, and I certainly hope that she is able to eventually return to the online community.

Atheists are still the most-hated minority in America. People seem to think that it's okay to hurt us, to intimidate us, and to keep us from holding public office in 7 states. This, despite the fact that we never knock on your door with pamphlets, tell you that you're going to burn in hell, or try to indoctrinate/convert your children. We've never started a war based on our non-religion. And we've never told you that you can't practice your religion within your home or church/synagogue/mosque. We rarely commit crimes (less than 1% of the prison population is atheist). So why all the hatorade? Seriously. If you want to have an open discussion, that's okay. But if your intent is to make us miserable because our non-belief makes you insecure, then just go away and leave us alone.