Innnnnerestin'

I have the day off of work today to vote, although I don't need it because I'm waiting for Boyfriend's work-day to end so we can vote together. I'm all antsy about it. CNN is on in the background, and Palin just cast her vote and is getting interviewed. Someone asked her who she voted for. Her response:

"I am also exercising my right to privacy! I don't have to tell anybody who I vote for, nobody does, and that's really cool about America."

Do I doubt that Palin voted for McCain? Not really. But wtf? Sarah, aren't you supposed to ENDORSE your OWN ticket? Also, the line about how the right to privacy is "really cool about America" slays me. Is she implying that other countries don't have secret ballots? Because here's a list of them...

I may be reading into that statement too much, but I get really sick of the constant implications that America is somehow more civilized, or socially advanced, or "the best country in the world." Sure, there are worse places to live. But I don't think this country can hold a candle to certain other countries in terms of infant mortality rates, health care, civil rights, education, and foreign policy. And I think that constantly denying our problems through rhetoric only negates and undermines the efforts of people who want to fix those problems.

Go vote to fix those problems today. If you encounter any problems, call the ACLU Voting Rights Project at 1-877-523-2792. You can even call if there are too few machines that cause discouragingly long lines (this happened to me when I voted in the 2004 election. I had to wait for a few hours, miss work, and miss class. A lot of people didn't vote because they didn't have hours to stand in line. I wish I knew that I could have called someone about that).

Good morning, Monday

A bit of spoken word music for your Monday morning, courtesy of Sarah Palin and Katie Couric:



This is my last week as a slobbering, unemployed putz! So I'm enjoying loafing around in my pajamas with no bra,and watching viral videos, as much as possible.

Annnnnnnywho, enjoy the Monday.

Hm. Turns out I'm NOT an Ameican citizen.

Jon Stewart has brought up his qualms with the McCain Campaign's excessive pandering to "small-town" America a few times. I hadn't really noticed it until he mentioned it a few nights ago and again last night (it was the main theme of his show last night). This issue grinds my gears.

Until I was 17, I lived in a small town in rural Pennsylvania. The population in 2000 was 3,512 (smaller than Wasilla!). When I was 16, I worked for a summer picking strawberries on a farm. My high school was surrounded by farmer's fields. My best friend grew up on a farm (and naturally, being best friends with her, so did I). My memories of childhood include playing in woods, barns, creeks, and cornfields (damn it's easy getting lost in that shit). My best friend's father was a truck driver. My own mother worked a series of factory jobs. I have seen cows and goats get castrated (and I have seen it go horribly, horribly wrong). I have taken my father's pick-up truck and ramped it over road-bumps and done donuts in fields (don't tell my dad, for the love of god). I was once asked to go line-dancing for a date (I declined, for the record). The Olive Garden is "fancy." I've shot a gun many times (I took the Boyfriend to the local armory the first time he visited home. The fine fellows at the armory hailed me as the best girlfriend ever).

So yes, I am from "Real America." I am from the "hard-working, very patriotic, very pro-America area of this great nation" (Thank you, Ms. Palin. How kind).

But in those 17 years, despite lovely scenery, fond childhood memories, and a healthy knowledge of farming, I have seen things that have deeply disturbed me. I have seen ignorance, racial intolerance, and deep-seated sexism. I have seen abusive parents, neglected children, and low education levels. I've seen teen pregnancies (a LOT of teen pregnancies. I've also seen one barely-a-teen pregnancy). I've seen violence and hatred towards gays, atheists, blacks, and women. And I've seen all of this condoned, if not actively encouraged, by authority figures (be those figures religious leaders, parents, or school personnel).

So I got the hell out of dodge and went to a university in a moderately-sized city (pop over 300,000). There I learned that more people existed than white, small-town people. That those who are not white, straight, christian males of comfortable means face a TON of discrimination that is often subtle and easily-ignored by the majority's eye. I learned to respect other people and their struggles, and I learned to be skeptical of many things and trusting of very, very few.

And then I moved to New York (pop: over 8 million). I learned that Harlem is a very friendly place, and everyone says "hello" to you on the sidewalk (contrary to popular myth, this is not something that happened often in my hometown). I learned that almost everyone holds the door open for everyone else. I found a city where people from VERY different backgrounds co-exist. Where over 170 languages are spoken, and no one tells anyone that "you gotta speak American in America." Where accents might be hard to understand, but everyone makes the damn effort, because how many fucking languages do you speak? Where gays, atheists, blacks, hispanics, women, the transgendered, the poor, and the just-plain-eccentric are not open-season for bigots. Diversity is king, here, and we are happy that way.

I'm not saying that intolerance or discrimination doesn't exist in NY. It exists everywhere, as it is a product of our society and culture. A product partially fed and fattened by people like John McCain, Rush Limbaugh, George W., Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, and the like.

But what I AM saying is that New York (and Chicago, and Boston, and San Francisco, and Dallas...) are REAL parts of America, too. And that we're often much nicer and more pleasant in terms of respecting our fellow human beings. And you can't disenfranchise us by saying that we're not. Many of us, like myself, came from what McCain is calling "real America" (which, by the way, I read as white, uneducated America), and we left because we didn't like that those places had no opportunities for us. We could not grow and thrive there either financially or intellectually, because those places are very limited in the experiences that they offer. We knew that there was more out there, and that the "more" is available where the population is larger and more diverse.

Places like my hometown are "real" America, too. But they aren't to be glorified. They aren't any better than New York. For the people who choose to live there, they offer something more than New York: families, jobs, lower costs of living, a different style of living. But they aren't some special piece of heaven, either. They have nasty sides, and if you've lived in a place like this, you know that the nasty parts are NOT few and far in between. Low levels of education and global awareness are not something to be celebrated. Ignorance isn't something to be celebrated. Associating an entire religion followed by 1-1.8 billion members with "terrorism" isn't something to be celebrated. Automatically associating brown people who have funny names with said religion and terrorism isn't something that's "folksy" or "charming", either.

McCain and Palin are insulting EVERYONE in America when they claim that people from small-towns are "real" and "patriotic" and "love their country the most." I'm real, too, and so is my vote. Patriotic shouldn't mean "unquestioning, die-hard fan of war and the current administration." To love one's country shouldn't mean "I have a yellow ribbon on the back of my truck." Loving one's country means questioning the government, questioning the status quo, and actually giving a shit about EVERYONE who lives here, including non-whites, immigrants, and people with diverse backgrounds. Loving one's country DOESN'T mean only loving the white parts, or the male parts, or the Christian parts, or the 4-person nuclear family parts.

To the people in small-town America: When McCain and Palin tell these things to you, they are diminishing and dismissing the problems that you face. They are ignoring your underfunded schools. They are dismissing the social ills that chill your community. They are underestimating the problems that you face in accessing good jobs and healthcare. They are making you into some sort of magical, mythical being: The strong farmer, the wise factory-worker. They are boxing you in and trying to woo you with vague rhetoric. They are trying to tell you that you love this country the most, so that you will be content and follow them wherever they go. But you have problems, don't you? And you shouldn't be content, should you?

There are 8 million people in New York, 3.8 million in Los Angeles, 3 million in Chicago, 1.2 million in Dallas, and 223,000 in New Orleans. Those people are real. Those votes are real. Attention must be paid.

Doncha Know, Bobby

Anyone who grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons around the same time I did will recognize the similarities between Sarah Palin and Martha Generic of Bobby's World (aside to Bobby's World fans: Did anyone else ever figure out the gag in their last name? Spelled as "Generic" but pronounced "Jen-a-rick"? When I was googling for a picture of Sarah Martha, I was pleasantly surprised.

I am armed with a transcript and a youtube video of the debate, and I am ready to tear this shit up.

The first question Ifill asked was whether what we are seeing in Washington is its worst or best during the passing of the bailout bill. Admittedly, I don't think that this was a great question. What was Ifill specifically getting at here? Partisanship? Biden said that he thought it was neither, and then went on to talk about how it evidenced how poor our economic policies have been under Bush. Then he succinctly outlined Obama's rescue plan.

Palin on the other hand, starts with this crap about "going to a kid's soccer game" to get a good barometer of the economy. I know that she's trying really hard to be all folksy and a "real person" and "just like us!" but seriously, if she is measuring the economy by how worried parents are at a soccer game, I'm worried. Try watching mortgage rates, the Ted Spread, the Direction of the Treasuries. Try to sound like you know what you're talking about. Palin also spoke only of what McCain had done in the past, rather than what he planned on doing in the future, unlike Biden. She also had the cajones to defend McCain's flimsy attempt to suspend the campaign. Really?? That was a notoriously unpopular decision, so much so that McCain did debate. Do you really want to bring that up?

Ifill then asked what they would do as VP to put partisanship aside. Once again, I don't think this was a great question, and the candidates didn't either, apparently. Biden glazed over it by saying that he has friends on both sides of the aisle, and then asked if he could go back to talking about the economy. Then he brought up McCain's infamous "fundamentals of the economy are strong" blunder.

This is where Palin really started to screw herself. Also the first time she used the phrase "team of mavericks." I'm only going to say this once: YOU CAN NOT BE A TEAM OF MAVERICKS. IT'S LIKE A CLUB OF ANARCHISTS. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A MAVERICK IS?

I feel better. Now Palin brings up that Obama has voted along party lines 96% of the time. Are you kidding me? You want to play that game? McCain has the same number for voting in-line with Bush. Everyone knows that by now.
Then she used the word "maverick" again.

On the topic of lenders v. borrowers in the subprime fiasco (what I like to call "the noodle incident"), Palin started off strong by stating that the lenders were to blame (I totally agree with her. BitchPhD posted a good piece from the Columbia Journalism Review pointing out the extremely unethical behavior of lenders like Countrywide). But then! Then she ended with this gem:
...we need also to not get ourselves in debt. Let's do what our parents told us before we probably even got that first credit card. Don't live outside of our means. We need to make sure that as individuals we're taking personal responsibility through all of this.

Nice, Palin, nice. First of all, let's point out that it's fucking impossible to own a car or home or education without debt. So "let's not get ourselves in debt" isn't really feasible, is it? And sure, I agree that folks need to be taking personal responsibility. But as is pointed out in the CJR piece, "irresponsible" individual borrowers did not cause this problem. There have been irresponsible borrowers since debt began. There has not been a huge decay in ethics among all borrowers. So you know, try to stick to the fucking lenders. We don't need a lecture.

Biden didn't answer the question (-1). But he did point out that McCain has been largely in favor of deregulating Wall Street (and health care, for that matter), while Obama has been in favor of imposing more regulations. When Palin got to respond (specifically to what Biden said about health care), I guess she couldn't defend McCain's deregulation policies, because she said outright that she wanted to talk about taxes instead. And then did. WTF.

THEN after she made a shoddy attempt to claim that Obama had voted to raise taxes, which Biden refuted, Biden called her out on not answering the question. The moderator gave her YET ANOTHER chance to respond. What did Miss America Gov. Palin respond with?

I'm still on the tax thing because I want to correct you on that again. And I want to let you know what I did as a mayor and as a governor. And I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also.

Wow. Basically she told the moderator, Biden, and everyone watching "FUCK OFF LALALLALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALA"

The closest she got to answering those questions was a weak attempt at claiming McCain's attempts at campaign finance reform and regulating the tobacco industry were evidence of his commitment to regulation. Yes, Sarah, because those two things are exactly the same as Wall Street and Health Care.

I think Biden nailed her when it actually was the time to talk about taxes. She tried to claim that small businesses would hurt under Obama's plan to increase taxes for those making over $250,000. Biden pointed out that 95% of small businesses make less than that, and won't see an increase. Palin also tried to promote McCain's $5,000 tax credit for health insurance, and Biden was quick to point out that the tax credit will be paid for by taxing our health insurance through our employers, then giving that money to the insurance companies. And then that 12 million of us will be dropped from our regular plans for the $5,000 plan. Swish!

Ifill then asked what promises the campaigns had previously made that they could no longer keep in light of the economy shitting blood on everyone. Biden gave an answer ("slow down" commitment to double foreign assistance). Then he went on to explain how they planned on not going through with tax cuts to the wealthy and oil companies promised by the current administration, and what they absolutely would continue to do (providing incentives for new jobs with an energy policy, education, universal health care).

Palin? Did not answer the fucking question again. Wanted to talk about the energy plan now. Is she even listening? She also slipped in a "bless their hearts." Acting like my mother DOES NOT EXCUSE YOU FROM ANSWERING THE QUESTION.

Then Ifill called her on it. "there's nothing...you would take off the table?" Now there has to be something. Biden manned up and admitted at least one thing. Come on, be honest here. It will build trust. Everyone will respect you for it. We're all waiting with baited breath:

"There is not."

Strike three, Governor.

AND THEN. OH MY GOD:

And how long have I been at this, like five weeks? So there hasn't been a whole lot that I've promised.

WHAAAAAAA? Allow me to translate: "I've only been following this whole "politics" thing for five weeks! Golly, I didn't really know a gosh darn thing about it before, huh? At least not enough to know what to tell ya we're gonna do for ya!"

Governor Palin. Please. I know this only happened a little while ago for you, but if your political knowledge doesn't expand beyond this time, why the hell are you in politics?

Later, Biden was talking about his stance on bankruptcy, and said that he believed McCain's stance differed (but that he wasn't sure if he differed). When asked if that was true, Palin said "That is not so." Okay, fine. It's not true. Care to elaborate on that? NO, she DIDN'T care to elaborate. She wants to talk about ENERGY instead. And so she did.

Ifill was all, okay bitch, let's play energy. What of climate change? Predictably, Palin tried to blame it on "cyclical temperature changes." READ A BOOK PALIN. Then she said she didn't want to argue about causes. As Jon Stewart so eloquently put it when Palin said the same thing during the Couric interviews: THE CAUSES MATTER. We don't know what caused your lung cancer, but here, have another cigarette! You can't fix it if you don't know how it started. Biden said as much. And admitted that global warming is manmade. I applaud you, sir.

The next question was on gay marriage. This is a big one for me. Ifill asked if they supported granting same-sex benefits. Biden did well here. He said he was absolutely in favor of it. I was cheering him on. Palin answered like the bigoted homophobe that we all know her to be. She stated that granting same-sex benefits goes "closer and closer" to redefining marriage and that would be "unfortunate." Then she tried to say that she would be "tolerant" of people "choosing" those relationships. So obviously she is super-enlightened on homosexuality. And really committed to tolerance. Then she said outright that gay marriage was a no for her, but that she would never do anything to prohibit things like hospital visitations. Well that's mighty generous of you, Governor, but guess what? Not granting gay marriage AUTOMATICALLY makes those things impossible for gay couples. And a lot of other things too. Thanks a lot for ensuring that gays remain second-class citizens. So "tolerant" of you.

Ifill didn't fuck around here. She just asked Biden straight up if he supported same-sex marriage, rather than just benefits. His answer rang in my ears: "No." Aw, Biden. Why'd you have to drop the ball here. I know he "has" to say this, or whatever, and I knew that he had taken this stance before (So has Obama, unfortunately). But it hurts so much. In 25 years, this bigotry will be as outrageous as having blacks drink in separate fountains from whites. But why can't they see it now?? We have such a long way to go in this country.

On the topic of the war, Palin went on to claim that "the central war on terror is in Iraq." No it's not, you ass. Iraq didn't attack us. Iraq is where the oil and money war is. Go fuck yourself.

Palin also said this, which just killed me: ...with some of these dictators who hate America and hate what we stand for, with our freedoms, our democracy, our tolerance, our respect for women's rights...

I love this rhetoric. "THEY HATE OUR FREEDOM!" Yeah, people hate freedom. That's exactly the problem. They are super-villains who hate freedom and want to enslave the human race. Oh, and our "respect" for women's rights? You respect women's rights? YOU? REALLY? You are EXACTLY the kind of person who is RUINING WOMEN'S RIGHTS.

She also said that it was "beyond bad judgment" and "dangerous" to attempt diplomacy with enemies. Yeah, let's just bomb the shit out of everyone we disagree with. Don't talk about it first or anything. Since it's so "dangerous" to have an open discussion with people you disagree with. God, you are like the second coming of Christ, aren't you, Palin?

But then? Then she said that they would engage in diplomacy "first and foremost, but diplomacy is hard work by serious people." Huh? So engaging in diplomacy is "dangerous," but you would try it first? But it's too hard and only for serious people? So you aren't serious? And can't do it? Man, you ought to be a salesperson. Because you are really selling me on yourself.

You know what, this is a really long fucking post. And as I'm looking at the transcript, I could keep going and going and going. But I think we all get the idea. And I want to point out Palin's latest blunder (misquoting Madeline Albright in stating that all women who don't support her are going to hell) over at Jezebel. The Jezebel author did a good job of telling Palin to go fuck herself, so I'll let you go read that for yourselves.

Since my brains started leaking out of my ears before I could finish dissecting the debate, why doesn't everyone share their favorite "Jesus Christ WTFOMGBBQ" moment in the comments?

The Great Debate!

Er, not really? But I am super jazzed up for tonight's Palin-Biden Smackdown. I don't think that the shortened time frame will help her. If anything, rambling is her secret weapon. She talks in circles for so long that if you aren't paying attention, you forget she didn't answer the question (unless Katie Couric is present, in which case you and Gov. Palin will be reminded THRICE of the original question). Speaking of Katie Couric, does anyone feel as bad for her as I do? She had to spend the whole goddamn day with that blathering ex-beauty queen. The look on her face for every question was all STOP REPRESENTING MY GENDER YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING.

The Boyfriend and I were discussing last night how we know so little about Joe Biden. I guess in a sense, I don't really give a shit, because I would vote for a box of cling-wrap over McCain/Palin (It keeps your government fresh!). But I guess that would make me an uninformed voter, which is the worst kind of voter, so I did some digging and here's my list of Pro/cons concerning Mr. Biden:

Pro:

• He's made some reasonable choices concerning abortion, including voting no on defining an unborn child as eligible for SCHIP, no on prohibiting minors from crossing state lines to obtain an abortion, yes on expanding stem cell research, yes on funding to educate teens on contraceptives, no on banning human cloning, no on maintaining a ban on military base abortions.
• He would like to remove troops from Iraq and invest in new programs by eliminating war funding and tax cuts.
• Ok'd civil unions, voted no on flag-burning ban, no on constitutional ban on same-sex marriage, yes on defining sexual orientation in hate crimes, no on ending special funding for women and minority-owned businesses, yes on prohibiting hiring discrimination due to sexual orientation, no on banning affirmative action federal funding.
• Voted no on limiting death penalty appeals
• Voted no on increasing penalties for drug offenses
• Has said that voting for No Child Left Behind was a mistake, voted no on requiring schools to allow voluntary prayer,
  
• Provide for emergency fuel assistance, make every car sold a flex-fuel car, voted yes on factoring global warming into federal project planning, yes on reducing national oil usage by 40% by 2025, yes on banning arctic wildlife reserve drilling, take away subsidies to oil companies
• Voted no on declaring English as official language of government
• Commitment to never use torture, disappoves of Don't Ask Don't tell, limit soldier deployment to 12 months.
  

Anywho, there are a lot of other things he has done, but those are some of the things that jumped out at me as that of which I approve. That said, Biden has also done a lot of things that just really piss me off:

Con:

• No public funding for abortion, supports partial-birth abortion ban, accepts Catholic Church view that life begins at conception
• Voted yes on prohibiting same-sex marriage (god seriously? Every candidate will say they approve unions and partnerships and all these other words, but they won't call it "marriage"???? SEPARATE ISN'T EQUAL, DUMMIES).
• Voted yes to loosen restrictions on cell phone wiretapping (I don't care how scared you are that a terrorist will bomb your beloved shopping mall. People who would give up their freedom for security are stupid, stupid fuckheads who deserve the Orwellian society that they get).
• Fought for up to 12 weeks leave in the Family and Medical Leave Act...but FMLA has a LOT of problems that I am not okay with. Including that 12 weeks isn't really long enough. It has a ways to go and I would hate to see Biden contented with that.
• Voted yes on reauthorizing the PATRIOT act, no on prohibiting same-sex basic training in the military (go ahead and segregate the troops by sex some more, that will really help foster understanding and eliminate violence towards women when the troops do have to work together).
  

Anyway, I have mixed feelings about Biden. Overall, I agree with him more than I disagree. But the things that I disagree with him are really important issues to me, so, you know, I'm conflicted. Either way, he is OBVIOUSLY a better choice than Sarah Palin, whose views are so incomprehensible to me that she might as well be from Mars. I eagerly await the debate tonight.

Also, can anyone picture what Palin is doing right now? I envision her sitting in a room with a McCain aide, smiling vacantly as the aide futilely attempts to coach her for tonight.
Aide: Now what do you say when they ask you about foreign policy?
Palin: *blinks* Some folks get to travel abroad, but I never did!
Aide: ...Yes. Now what is your stance on education?
Palin: I wish they taught shopping in school!
Aide: Close enough. Women's issues?
Palin: Let's buy makeup so the boys will like us!
Aide: I don't really think McCain wanted the presidency anyway. You're gold. Go get 'em, tiger.

*special thanks to Simpson's Episode Lisa vs. Malibu Stacey