Saturday, February 14, 2009

VD: Valentine's Day or Venereal Disease? Maybe both.

Valentine's Day gives me mixed feelings, because on one hand I know that it's a stupid corporate holiday that means nothing at all; and on the other hand, I like attention from my boyfriend. So every year I sort of struggle with how we acknowledge the holiday without being stupid and going over the top. Or too lame and cliched. We could not acknowledge it at all, and show how cool and progressive we are, but then I would be a little sad because I want to make up for all those years in high school when other girls got flowers in their locker and candy-grams in homeroom, but I was flat-chested and awkward and got a card from my mom instead (at least my mom choo-choo-chooses me).

For our first Valentine's, I tried to cook a whole ham for Boyfriend. I also tried to make cornbread stuffing, which required placing a cast-iron skillet in the oven. After I took the skillet out of the oven and put it on the stove to cool, I turned away, and then turned back to grab it. I have the attention span of an infant, so in that time span I forgot that I had just removed the skillet from a 400 degree stove. I grabbed it with my bare hand, and spent the rest of the night in unbearable pain. I thought I would be scarred for life (I wasn't, but I swear it was the worst pain of my life). So that dinner was interspersed with many, many tears.

Our second Valentine's was during our long-distance period, and fell on a weekday, so we couldn't see each other. I had a flower arrangement sent to his office, complete with a teddy bear. Yes, he was ribbed mercilessly. But he liked the flowers, and wasn't ashamed to admit it.
I don't care if you have a penis or a vagina; it's still nice to receive flowers. Also, for as much as his co-workers teased him, they were all woefully single and therefore fucking jealous.

This year, I decided to let Boyfriend take the reins. I even sort of forgot that it was coming up:

Boyfriend: What are we doing tomorrow?
Me: Tomorrow? We're cleaning. My sister is visiting, remember?
Boyfriend: No, I mean, it's Valentine's Day.
Me: Oh! Um. We're still cleaning...

So boyfriend woke up way early and went shopping, and made me Surf 'n Turf! Filet Mignon and lobster, mashed potatoes and asparagus. Then he brought me Max Brenner chocolates, and a lovely Merlot. We consumed our totally fucking awesome meal while watching season 3 of Weeds. All of these things caused me to pee my pants in excitement, and because he's so awesome, Boyfriend didn't mind mopping up the puddle.

Also, we took a little walk over to the animal shelter and played with the bunnies. SQUEAL!


White Trash Academic said...

I'm with you. I loathe capitalist holidays but am a little sad inside if no one sends me anything. Sounds like you guys had a great evening!

Phoebe Caulfield said...

Happy V-Day, WTA!

Kim said...

That sounds like a great Valentine's day.

I love that old school ad at the top there.

Michelle said...

That actually sounds like a very lovely way to spend Valentine's Day.

Phoebe Caulfield said...

I would give it several thumbs up, myself.

Creative Commons License

Rectory Entrance is licensed.
Don't touch my shit unless you ask.

Van Gogh's Ear Award